I had a wonderful time by myself at the house. I smoked some mj and I ended up taking some magic mushroom. It was a fantastic time. But, not ideal.

The mushroom was in an edible brownie, and there were like 15 small little doses/blocks. 1-2 is considered a microdose; 3-5 is considered “Therapeutic,” and 6-8 is Astral Project.

I had previously done these mushrooms before; 1.5 on a weekend trip with family,

Family trip/game night

we played this really fun game called Telestrations, and it’s kind of like “whisper down the lane” but with drawings. So you pick a card, and on a small, whiteboard notebook, you draw the word on your car. No words, no numbers. Then you close the book and pass it to the person next to you.

They open it, try and guess what your drawing it, then write their guess on another page. Then they pass it again. And that person then draws the word, rinse and repeat.

I then later did 2 bars with my friend M. We had rented a cheap, nice hotel room and took the mushrooms, we had munchy kind food but we couldn’t fully relax immediately, we went in and out of the room. Not the best experience.

This past weekend, I was there from Thurs. PM to Monday PM. On Saturday mid-afternoon, I take 3 doses. I get some things ready, but what I experienced was not at all what I thought was going to happen. I knew I needed a bigger dose.

On Sunday, I had to wait until my uncle left who was working on something in the house until 7:30 UGH

Took it, was up until at least 12:30, but I had at least one epiphany. I see everything differently now, and it’s scary.

I have vehemently not wanted kids since high school, I’m in my early thirties btw. And over the weekend, in my experience, there is a part of me that doesn’t want to have a kid but more like raise a kid,

In my terms, we are all blocks of marble, rising endlessly, and life is what you carve of it. Some blocks haven’t been touched, some have been nicely decorated, and others are ragged and rough.

All marbles will grow. All with eventually crumble. But I literally have the power to help another marble grow up. I literally have the power to make a younger marble’s life better. I can give that person a good life, and I can support them. But it’s obviously so much more than that.

Anyhow, it was a great experience. But my birthday is soon coming up, and I have plans to go to the coast again with my friend and my sister, and I am so excited to take some shrooms again.

At one point, I sat outside on the driveway, facing east, and feeling the wind come over my skin, over my clothes, around my jaw. The strong wind passing over me were literally in France at some point; the molecules in the wind have been everything else on earth.

It was truly a sensational experience. This wind traveled thousands of miles to me. Absoultely unreal.”

Okay this and else to be updated later xo