Definitely way too tired to even begin to narrow things down. But to face the quandary of not writing anything, when I could just write about how I can’t write about anything.
Hey, if anyone ever wants to buy me a drink, I’ll take a Mexican mule, with two lime wedges.
My taste in beverages have skipped around since I’ve been ‘seriously’ drinking [as in, enough to determine if I like wine, v beer v whiskey, etc] Beer’s always been gross to me, wine has too many variations to be reliable, straight anything is gross, even on rocks.
For those unaware, a Mexican mule is tequila, lime juice, and ginger beer. With accompaniment of at minimum, for me, two lime wedges. A ‘spin[?]’ of the Moscow Mule, which has vodka.
Margaritas were always kinda good, but again, too much variety. Some frozen, or just on rocks. Some made to order, some batched. Unreliable.
Daiquiris are often too sweet, and not all bars have blenders. Thus unreliable.
It’s nice to have something reliable. My favorite used to be a Malibu bay breeze, but sometimes too sweet, and also just way too sweet to drink a lot of, and the ratio could be off. It’s nice to have something to order, it’s nice to have a regular thing, a known thing.
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I haven’t actually spoken to my friend in a good bit; it’s a noticeable absence in my life. Some friendships are hard to make, or like build and maintain, even same-sex friendships, with people that can and do see each other often. But opposite-sex, live in another time zone, another country, x,000 miles away, I was a fan of his music so it’s not quite the same as having a shared interest as the start to our friendship. There’s likely a few other things at play, too, but at first or second thought, those are the current factors.
Not in a depressing way – it makes a small part of my brain ask if I’m just not someone you want as a long[er]-term friend.
I know, or can strongly hope, that the reason we haven’t much talked is because he’s been spending time with his girlfriend, and not like I did or said something to like bother him or creep him out and I don’t even know, I don’t know.
Unrelated,^ thinking of no longer moving to New York.
Over the last five years, I lost three grandparents, and my best friend. I have to try and remind myself that life isn’t supposed to be that hard, so quick. Life isn’t supposed to be this hard in general. And I’m lucky enough to still have family, and some friends.
So it’s okay not to be doing great.^
Something’s got to change, and so have I.
“I haven’t dropped no eaves, sir, honest.”
DEADPENNY (in the Mortal Coil) 